Daredevil
by Gasian Gaond
Summary: When the freshly heartbroken Mio Akiyama was forced to stay with a roommate who disagreed with her in every thinkable manner, she doubted she would ever recover. MioxRitsu AU.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: When the freshly heartbroken Mio Akiyama was forced to stay with a roommate who disagreed with her in every thinkable manner, she doubted she would ever recover. MioxRitsu AU.

A/N: Hello all! Long time no see! And for you who haven't ever read my works before, nice to meet you! School's been rough, but I finally managed to finish a Mitsu story.

This is meant as an early birthday present for Ritsu. Happy birthday Ritsu! ! ! (21-08-2011)

Hopefully you all enjoy this little critter! Oh, and the rating might change to M if this continues.

* * *

><p><strong>Daredevil<strong>

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 1<span>

_"What are you cupping your hands around, Mio-chan...?"_

_"Ayame-chan... what do you think it's doing?"_

_"It looks like it's hurt..."_

_"...I-It's not moving anymore.."_

_"What if it dies...?"_

_"Then it dies."_

_"Eh?"_

_"It dies."_

_"Then what should I do with it?"_

_"...Throw it away."_

* * *

><p>It is no use crying over spilled milk.<p>

Even kids know that.

That was why Mio Akiyama arrived in front of the dormitory of Kyoto's best women university, a trolley case on one hand, and a chocolate bar on one hand, as she crunched away on her sadness.

That crushing blow to her heart happened two months ago.

For crying out loud, only babies can't get over something like that in two months.

She had seen worse.

It was time to move on.

Or maybe, moving on was an apparent cushion against her desperate cries for help.

She kept repeating it to herself as she crunched up the empty bar pack and walked confidently into the dorm.

The lobby was comfortable and clean. Several sofas were scattered around the room and some girls older than Mio were chatting excitedly near a long table. The pastel-colored wall and ceiling was brightly lit with some neon rectangular lamps hanging from above, and there was a pretty-looking, small fireplace across the room. Mio saw some doors directly leading to bedrooms, and as she was taking off her shoes and wondering where the resident manager of the dorm was, she unexpectedly heard her name called.

"Hey, Mio."

When Mio recognized the voice, her eyes lit up.

"Nodoka!"

The bespectacled girl with short, brown hair gave her a warm, welcoming smile. Mio was really relieved she was the first person she talked to. Her heart was really crying out for company at that time.

"Nice to meet you, Mio. Welcome to the dormitory."

"Same here. The manager is out again?" she asked as she sneakily threw the crunched up pack into the fireplace.

It started to shrivel and curl up in the heat. Just like her.

"She's out watching a local baseball match. Now she's probably in full cry with the rest of the neighborhood."

Mio forced out a laugh.

"So as you might've guessed already, she asked me to show you where your room is, and I gotta say we have a small problem about that," she explained, "Follow me."

Mio had already thought before that her sudden transfer to the university might become a curb on her choice of rooms, so she didn't protest.

Nodoka led her along a small corridor while explaining about some basic rules to stay in the dorm.

"...Oh, and I almost forgot, no romance allowed."

Mio stopped dead on her tracks.

"Excuse me...?"

There was an uncomfortable, curious feeling churning in her stomach when she heard that word, but she ignored it and wondered about the strangeness in Nodoka's words.

"No romance allowed. Some past events have been proven to be damaging to the university system. No romance allowed even if it's just idle curiosity."

A look of disbelief could still be seen in Mio's eyes.

"Nodoka, this is a _women_'s university."

Nodoka blinked in confusion.

"Yeah, this is a women's university."

Half-surprised, half-curious, Mio repeated again, "But you said romance!"

"Yes, I did," Nodoka replied quickly.

"But..."

The rule still didn't make any sense at all to Mio.

"...But romance between two girls is harmless!"

She just said that out loud.

In the middle of a small corridor full of rooms which are almost as soundproof as a public toilet.

Nodoka's face was now a mixture between laughter and pity.

"...Mio-san... this is the first time anyone ever said _that_ to me when I explained that rule to them."

Mio's face turned bright red as she cursed in her mind.

That might be a fool-proof way to know if a new resident of the dorm is gay or not.

* * *

><p>Obviously what Nodoka meant was if a naughty guy happened to sneak into the dorm.<p>

After her sexual orientation was found out by her schoolmate only within six minutes after she entered the university entrance, Nodoka's comment about it wasn't exactly cheering her up in the slightest. "Is it a crying shame in your community to, uh, come out in, let's say... the speed of light?"

"I hate you for being so clever."

They didn't talk much anymore until they arrived in front of Mio's room.

"Call me anytime you have problems," Nodoka said, "Oh, and you have a roommate."

Mio only gave her a curt nod, and Nodoka left her alone in that corridor.

'If this girl hears from anyone that I'm gay, I dunno how the hell I can handle living with her,' Mio thought bitterly as she opened the door.

Which she regretted as soon as she came in.

What was worse for a stressed-out lesbian than accidentally coming out to a girl she doesn't know too well?

Coming inside a cramped bedroom-cum-study where a girl she doesn't know _at all _is in the middle of changing her clothes.

And for Mio, it came with the worst combination possible.

Short-haired brunette.

Clear shot of breasts.

White panties.

What was the only logical thing she thought she had to do?

Scream really, really loud.

* * *

><p>"For God's sake, Mio, you made me almost trip on my own foot!" Nodoka yelled in the lobby a few minutes later, still looking a bit shaken.<p>

However, Mio looked more shaken than her. "I've told you before I don't want to stay with anyone like that!"

A short-haired girl ... that hair color...

Nodoka paused as if she remembered something, before she continued, "There's no other room left, Mio-san."

The raven-haired girl didn't even make any attempt to hide her refusal. "Please, I beg you!"

"Mio-san, please calm down!" Nodoka said, now a bit flustered, "I said, there's no other room left. You have to bear with it."

"No, no, I'm not gonna stay in there with her!" Mio said, shaking her head vigorously.

"Mio-san, please! In a few weeks Enomoto-san will move out and you can stay in her room instead, but, please, bear it just for a little while."

Breathing heavily and coming to her senses, Mio began to realize everyone in the lobby was staring at her. She was quite glad that brunette didn't follow her when she made a dash to the lobby.

"You're out of your mind, and you look pretty stressed. Please just rest," Nodoka said in a calmer voice, "I know, I know your request but there's nothing I can do, so please bear with her..."

Mio didn't even want to look at her in the eyes. "...If just for a few weeks..."

"Yes... just a few weeks."

After a few more consoling words from Nodoka, Mio hesitantly obliged and dragged her feet back to the room, feeling worse and guiltier with every step.

'What should I do first after screaming like a freak in front of her? She's done nothing wrong anyways... should I apologize first? Or laugh and pretend nothing happens? What should I do?'

That girl was much better in this than her.

That girl...

Mio found her mind wandering by itself.

Why was she suddenly thinking of that girl...?

"...How long are you gonna stand there?"

The voice almost made Mio jump.

Oh, right.

_She_ was the reason.

Standing by the door Mio had just run away from in very casual clothing, the brown-haired girl folded her arms leisurely as she continued to watch Mio in amusement. Mio darted an impatient glance at her.

It was at that moment when Mio realized that she was shorter.

And that she had sparkling hazel eyes.

And that she had a grin that matched even that girl's.

She quickly cursed herself for thinking it, though.

"So," the brunette continued, seemingly bearing no interest at all to mention what had happened just now, or even to introduce herself, "Ayame Yoshida, huh?"

Mio felt that uncomfortable feeling again, clenching her stomach like a ruthless invisible grip. The girl didn't continue, as if she was teasingly trying to leave her dangling with surprise.

How could a complete stranger know the name of that girl...?

"...H-how do you know that name?"

"It's written on a letter that person sent to this room," she said, waving a small envelope, "Is she your ex-girlfriend?"

Mio stared at her dangerously.

"There's no way you can figure that out," Mio said in a threatening tone. It was too good to be a shot in the dark.

"Well, I happen to... peek inside this... "

Mio didn't wait for her to finish. With such speed she never thought she had, she snatched the envelope away from her, her face flushing in anger. At the same time, she tried to overcome the shock she had after knowing that girl could send a letter directly into her room.

How could...how could that girl know the room she was moving in? ? She didn't even tell that girl which university she moved to!

"Now you make me look like the bad guy here..." the brunette huffed, "And is that the kind of face you show to someone you have sexually harassed with your eyes? Please."

Mio's face turned even redder. "If you think I was ogling you, you have the completely wrong idea..."

"I like that idea."

Mio blinked a few times. "What are you, gay?"

"Guess."

Mio's face changed from red to white faster than a traffic light.

She turned around and strode away really quickly. "I really should change rooms."

"Wait, why are you the one acting like the victim around here while I'm actually the one? ?"

"You're the one who looks more suspicious than me!"

"Says a gay girl who spent her first day in this dorm barging into random girls' rooms? ?"

"I was not barging into your room!"

"Ohh, then what do you call that just now? ? Saying hi? ? I'm sure you only said 'aaah! !' just now !"

"Shut your mouth up! !"

The argument went on until a random neighbor started shouting equally loud at them to finish their fucking fight outside the dorm.

They stared intensely at each other, and Mio was wondering why she even bothered to stay.

"...Okay, we gotta stop this before we're thrown out by the entire dorm," the girl said.

"I agree..." Mio said to her, "But I'm not staying with you."

"Geez, it was just a little joke!" she said, hardly taking what Mio said seriously.

Mio couldn't believe what she said. "Peeking into someone's private letter is not a little joke! !"

"Dang, I didn't even know it was for you! !" she said, "Look at the envelope, see? There's nothing written on it."

Mio scanned the envelope and her eyes immediately prove that the girl was right. It was a plain, blank envelope.

A typical mistake that girl would do...

"You know, you've been treating me like a bad guy all this time..." the girl said with a slight hint of annoyance, "While I never hear an apology from you at all for coming into my room without knocking."

This girl had definitely made Mio's emotions bounce up and down in just one day. However, Mio realized her mistake in this case.

"...I'm sorry."

"No, you're unforgivable."

A nerve twitched on Mio's forehead. "You told me to apologize!"

She felt like she had ever had this conversation before. Something... something reminded her of the little sweet voice in the back of her head.

"_That is not enough."_

"Just that is not enough!" the girl said loudly to her, "So put that trolley case inside and let's hang out!"

Mio was taken aback. "Eh? ? But my schedule.."

"I have said your apology is not enough, right?" she smiled brightly, "There's a place I want to visit today but everyone happens to be busy. So you gotta accompany me!"

"_You can accompany me!"_

...So direct, so random... just like...

"You ask a stranger to accompany you...?" Mio asked hesitantly.

'And a gay one to boot...'

'...Why does this keep reminding me of something...?'

"_This is so that we know each other better right...?"_

"This is so that strangers know each other better, right?" she said, giving the grin that made every painful image came back into Mio's mind, "I'm Ritsu Tainaka."

"_My name is..."_

'No... I don't want to remember...' Mio thought. The memory was insistent in infesting her thoughts...

"Mi-Mio Akiyama," she replied, still pondering the reason she went along with this girl's flow.

_It must be...because..._

"Nice to meet you, Mio," she said, flashing that unforgettable grin again.

Mio couldn't stand the sight.

_She acts so much like..._

_"Nice to meet you...Mio-chan."_

* * *

><p><em>"Mio-chan, Mio-chan, I just cut a tooth! Look, look!"<em>

_"It looks scary! !"_

_"Mama said to me, one day this tooth will be gone too."_

_"Really?"_

_"One day Mio-chan will lose all your teeth too!"_

_"I, I don't want it, it'll be even scarier! !"_

_"It's a part of growing up!"_

_"Then I don't want to grow up!"_

_"Ehh? ? But I want Mio-chan to grow up."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because grown-ups can get married."_

_"Married...?"_

_"Yes, grown-ups can get married with the people they love."_

_"S-so?"_

_"I want to marry Mio-chan."_

* * *

><p>In the end, Mio didn't have time to read the letter from that girl.<p>

It turned out that the shop Ritsu wanted to visit was closed at that day, but instead of going back to the dormitory like Mio wanted, Ritsu dragged her to explore the random parts of the town, while annoying Mio tremendously in the process.

"You seriously look like you want to kill me," Ritsu said lightly to her, "Am I really that bad to hang out with?"

"I've accompanied you enough for today," Mio told her for the umpteenth time, "Let's go back to the dorm. We have to be there before dark."

"I wonder if you're also this bitchy during your dates with Ayame."

Mio couldn't count how many times Ritsu had mentioned that girl's name today. It was the major source of her annoyance during that trip.

"In that letter you guys seem to have a lot of problems," Ritsu continued.

"What happened between us is none of your business," Mio replied curtly.

"Well it seems like you still think about her."

'What's with this person?' Mio thought as she tried as best as she could to repress her boiling wish to smack her right there at that moment.

However, they were walking on a sidewalk where a lot of people could see them, so Mio could only say, "If you believe everything she wrote on that letter, you're an idiot."

"Well, sorry, but I'm just saying," Ritsu said, shrugging her shoulder, "A pretty girl like you deserves someone better."

That caught Mio off-guard.

'Huh, what? Don't tell me this girl is interested in me...'

So she was trying to make Mio forget about her ex for her own benefit? So sly, huh...

Mio decided that she was just thinking too much. This could never possibly happen in any other circumstance.

"Sure she has a lot of weaknesses, but she has her own good points, too," Mio said uncaringly.

Ritsu didn't look impressed.

"She treated you badly."

"So? It doesn't concern you," Mio said, feeling her heartbeat going faster. She began to walk faster, as if she was trying to counter her heartbeat with her walking speed.

"But you still like her."

"It's just her assumption," she replied, noticing Ritsu didn't follow her accelerating speed and was soon left behind.

"You sent her flowers!"

"It's in the past! !"

They had stopped walking. Happy families walked past them as they stood there, cool dappled light from the sunset raining on them under the trees.

She transferred to the university wishing to start a peaceful life, where everyone would always be in the dark about her past romantic life, but this girl...this girl...

There were limits about being on dangerous ground, and this girl just wouldn't get it.

"If you ever...mention any more word about that girl..."

"I'm just telling you to move on!" Ritsu said to her, ignoring her words, "She doesn't feel guilty at all in that letter, she's just playing with you! While you keep on...I just think that...someone like you deserves better!"

When she didn't receive any satisfying reply from the taller girl, Ritsu said again, "Why do you keep thinking about a jerk like her...? ?"

With those words, a slur of plain blankness suddenly filled Mio's mind.

Her past memories, which she had managed to bury deep inside her mind, finally succeeded in invading her thoughts.

...Ayame...

"_Grown-ups can..."_

Ayame was...

"_...marry the people they love.."_

...the only person...

"_So...?"_

...who was always by Mio's side, in laughter and sadness, even after her mom passed away...

"_I want to..."_

...the irreplaceable...

"..._marry Mio-chan."_

...person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

However...

"A person like you..." Mio started, tears began to stream down from her eyes, "...will never, ever understand how I feel! !"

...God went through such lengths to take every bit of happiness left in her life away.

Her mother...

Her girlfriend...

Her last... bit of happiness...

All of them...

"...Ayame is..."

...were cruelly taken away.

"...Ayame is already dead, you idiot! !"

The passers-by, the brown-haired girl, the trees, and vehicles now looked nothing more than a blur in her teary eyes.

The sun rose and the sun set, her friends went to school and went home, the trains came and the trains left...

Everyone... everything kept moving while Ayame was gone forever, and Mio was left alone in this ruthless, empty world.

_I know you wrote that letter to make me forget about you__._

_But how could you actually leave me...?_

_Can't you see how broken I am from there...?_

_Don't you remember that we promised to __live and die__ together?_

_...__How __can I possibly move on when I can no longer see the heaven that used to be reflected__..._

"I love you, Mio-chan."

_...__in__ your eyes...?_

"Forever and ever."

* * *

><p>AN: And that's all for the first chapter... what do you think?

This story follows the 'what-if-Mio's-childhood-friend-is-not-Ritsu' AU formula. Been wanting to try it out ever since it crossed my mind.

**Little trivia:** As anyone following the manga to this point might've already known, **Ayame Yoshida** is one of the new characters introduced in the university arc of the manga (who happens to be a drummer and seems to be born to be Ritsu's sidekick *shot*). Her hair color has never been exactly revealed so far (Akira continues to be kakifly-san's new favorite), but we can assume it's lightly-colored.

So should I continue this story? R&R please.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"_Mio..."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I think I saw someone who really looks like you at school."_

"_Really? ? Who?"_

"_A pretty guitarist, her name is Nakano. She's the darling of the school newspaper."_

"_Ohh... you must also think she's prettier than me."_

"_Nah, how is that possible?"_

"_Why isn't it?"_

"_Even if you had a twin, I would always fall for you."_

* * *

><p>When Mio decided to move to a university in a neighboring town, her best friend Yui asked her, "Why do you want to move there, Mio-chan?"<p>

The answer was simple, because Ayame's ashes were buried there.

This was her hometown.

And since Ayame had nobody that would take care of her grave, Mio made it as her responsibility.

Ayame was all alone in the world, and yet she still took care of Mio.

This was the only way she could repay her now.

"...Hey, Ayame."

The Yoshida family grave was not really far from the university dorm, although she did have to walk for fifteen minutes or so to reach it. There was actually a way to make the route shorter by cutting through a park, but she didn't mind dawdling, her thoughts were overflowed with happy memories they spent together when she was alive, and for her, it was a good reminiscence before she properly burnt some incense for her.

"You know, I thought you were insane when you spent your parents' inheritance to buy a funeral plot."

'...But then again, I should've caught why you did it at that time,' Mio thought sadly.

Ayame Yoshida was only four when she escaped death in the form of a nearly fatal disease of an unknown origin. She was suddenly found on the floor in a dead faint and was quickly rushed to the hospital, where she regained consciousness but unable to get up from bed for several weeks.

During those painful times, Mio could only hold her hand from the bedside and tell her what happened at the school that day, or how she fooled the school bullies and made a dash for it, or simply told her how much she wanted to play with her again.

The doctor told Ayame's mother that her days were numbered, and even Ayame herself thought it was curtains for her, but they were wrong.

Ayame managed to survive.

The experience somehow became her road to Damascus as she damned the consequences and decided to chase her dream in music she used to dabble in. Her mom almost cut her out of her will because of that, but she didn't feel daunted at all.

The disease never showed itself again for sixteen years and Ayame was in her way to become a professional drummer. In fact, her band was about to cut their first disc when Death tried to steal her life again.

This time, Death succeeded.

In a flash, it brought down the curtains on her distinguished career as a musician, and also, the only joy left in the life of her dearest person...

"I dare say..." Mio said, "...that you wanted the monument to be daubed with yellow or orange paint just to add a dash of color to it."

'But you didn't get to do it...'

It all happened very quickly, didn't it...

She didn't even have a chance to hear her voice for the last time…

"...Talking to yourself is creepy, you know."

As soon as Mio heard that voice coming from behind, she thought, 'Dang it.'

She went out to visit the grave this early in the morning because she thought nobody would ever follow her before dawn broke.

"You were following me, weren't you? Such a stalker you are," she replied without looking back.

"I come to talk since you didn't speak to me at all yesterday, from dawn till dusk."

Obviously that meant she wouldn't want to talk to her today either.

"...What do you have to say now after you see this? 'You're such a kid for doing such a cushy job instead of moving on and enjoying life like me'?" Mio asked angrily.

"You do know I was damned if I knew she has passed away two days ago when I said all those things to you."

It was true that Ayame didn't clearly mention her death at all in her letter.

"I won't apologize for what I said about her."

Mio wanted her to just get lost already. "I've know damn well that you really are a jer-"

"But I want to apologize for making you cry."

It was either the gentle wind that happened to blow against her face, or those words that somehow calmed the rage in Mio's heart. She chose the former.

"And doing a 'cushy' job like this," Ritsu said as she crouched beside her, "...is not a bad thing, either."

"What do you mean by that?" Mio asked, watching Ritsu touch the letters engraved on the monument.

"Dead people can't come back, but what's left from them can be kept, right?" she said again, "Keeping memories alive is as good as making them."

So she was capable in giving advices too.

Not that it impressed Mio.

"...You don't have to tell me that. Even kids know it."

Ritsu pouted at her response. "Oh, I'm sorry, because you really look like a big fat infant."

"Who are you calling fat? ?"

If there were two topics in the world that you had to evade when talking to Mio Akiyama, they were Ayame and body weight. There was only one person who could manage to mention them both in two days after meeting her, though.

"W-wait, what's that fist for?" Ritsu said, "Whoa, I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I'm sorry for calling you fat! Stop th—!"

And that was how Ritsu Tainaka received her first smack on the head in front of the grave of Ayame Yoshida.

* * *

><p>"It still hurts..." Ritsu said while holding her head and crouching on the ground.<p>

"You asked for it," Mio replied uncaringly, heading toward the track leading out of the graveyard.

Ritsu, completely unaffected by her crude remarks, stood up and said, "What're you going to do after this?"

"I don't have classes for today, so I will go shopping for some stuff."

She spent so many tissues yesterday for her eyes and face that she had to buy more.

"Stuff? Tissue?"

Unfortunately, she forgot that she shared a room with this moron. Most probably because if Ritsu was not trying to start a conversation with Mio, she was gorging herself on instant noodles and coke.

'Damn, don't tell me she knows that yesterday I...'

"You cried a lot yesterday right?"

Oh, what the heck, of course she knew.

Mio's ego quickly took over and she said, "Okay, I lied, I actually wanted to go somewhere else."

"Where?"

She should have expected that question.

'Give me a break,' Mio thought wearily.

She was seriously getting tired of being stalked around. "Don't follow me. Don't you have classes today?"

"This is far more interesting, so I'm skipping."

If she tagged along, Mio wouldn't be able to buy any tissues!

She decided to escape.

"Where are you going?"

"Go away!"

Why was she so persistent? ?

"Hey, you left your incense on the ground!"

Oh, crap.

"I, I left it on purpose!"

"Am I supposed to believe that you want Ayame to burn the incense for herself?" Ritsu asked, "Hm? What's this?"

Mio watched in horror as Ritsu picked something up from the ground.

Mio quickly shoved a hand into her pocket. She really had dropped it.

"You left this too? What're these keys for?" she said, waving them in front of Mio.

"Ah, uhm, that's..."

She didn't have time to retaliate when Ritsu said, "If you don't tell me, I won't give this back."

Jerk.

* * *

><p>Mio thought the only thing Ayame left for her was a ring of keys.<p>

However, that was before she found out that Ayame sent a letter directly to the dorm room she was moving into, which turned out to be a huge mistake.

As a result, she ended up inside the Yoshidas' traditional wooden Japanese house with the person she least expected to do it with.

"It looks nice," Ritsu commented, "Did she give this house to you?"

"That's what I heard," Mio said, pulling back the curtains, "The nurse said she wanted me to have it, no other message, no letter, nothing else. Well, she might drop dead back then so she didn't have time to write anything."

"Oh..." Ritsu said, her voice lowered, "So you weren't with her when she..."

"You don't need to pity me," Mio said, trying hard not to snap, "It doesn't matter whether I'm near her when she's on her deathbed or not. It's just because I'm the only available person to inherit anything from her."

It was true.

When Ayame died, Mio found herself struggling with an emotion she shouldn't have: anger.

She was the only one who could inherit the most important thing that she left for her, it was eternal damnation.

She left painfully happy memories, she left suicidal guilt, and she left a permanent scar in her ability to love another.

Mio would never find anyone that could replace Ayame's place.

_Why not just kill me then... than simply leaving me in this horribly disgusting state?_

"...You know, Mio, I've been thinking of something."

Mio turned around and found Ritsu staring at the boxes at the corner of the room. "What is it, Ri—wait, why are you calling me by my first name?"

Instead of getting any satisfying response to her question, Mio received an annoying grin. "Why don't we try digging into stuff?"

"...Huh?"

For a second there, Ritsu's grin looked as if she had just arrived in a gold mine. She seemed to have noticed it, too, because she cleared her throat and was no doubt trying to make up a plausible explanation.

"It's the first time you visit the house after she passed away right? It looks dusty," she began.

That point was true, so Mio didn't make any complaints and said, "All of her belongings are stored here after she died, and I never touch them..."

"So in order for you to get over Ayame," Ritsu said, full of energy, "Let's start by, digging into her stuff!"

"W-what? ?"

That didn't make any sense!

"I always want to learn more about lesbian culture!" she said again, her eyes shining.

"You want to do a cultural learning in a dead person's house? ?"

Mio didn't understand if this girl was teasing her or was just freaking stupid.

"C'mon, you said all her belongings are stored here!" Ritsu said, already making her way toward the pile of boxes like a lioness chasing her prey. Mio, sensing a danger in this action, immediately blocked her way.

"Hey, wait! That doesn't mean you can just dig into her stuff!" Mio said, holding onto her.

"Hey, this isn't just for me," Ritsu said, her tone became calmer all of a sudden, "It is so you can accept it."

The grip on Ritsu's wrist loosened.

"...I don't get you."

"You never bother to touch her belongings again," Ritsu said with a smile, "Don't you want to keep the memories of Ayame alive?"

Instead of sending out barrages of protests as she intended to do, Mio found herself in complete silence.

_...__This girl...I really don't get her._

"Because if you keep saying, 'it's painful to touch it' and you choose to run away," she continued, "You'll never get over it, you know! You didn't try your damnedest."

Was it possible that...she was speaking from experience?

How else could she get all that confidence from then?

"...I don't intend to run away," Mio said, "I brought those keys today, to see if I can finally step inside after so long..."

She thought Ritsu was going to tease her, but she just said, "That's the spirit!"

Although if she was to be honest to herself, it was much easier than she thought.

She had spent weeks just looking at the house from afar with the keys in her hand, but was unable to even just make it to the doorstep. She always ended up wasting money for the train ride.

However, today when Ritsu suddenly ran so cheerfully toward the front door with the keys and Mio had to chase after her...

Now that she thought about it, she was so distracted that she didn't even think of anything when she stepped inside.

This girl could be unexpectedly useful in this kind of thing.

Maybe getting along with her once in awhile wasn't a bad choice, either.

She would never tell Ritsu about this, though.

"Whoa, what's this? ? This is the damnedest thing I've ever seen!"

"H-hey, don't just go digging into her stuff without my permis..." Mio's voice trailed off when she realized 'the damnedest thing' Ritsu was examining.

Of all the things she could find, why did it have to be _that_? ?

"How do you use this with her? ? Did she insert this into your-"

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF THAT THING NOW!"

"Whoa, fuck, I've discovered your dark secret!" Ritsu said.

She seemed to be enjoying this very much.

"Give me that!"

"Make me!" she said, sticking her tongue out.

In a few seconds, she had fled from the room with the sex toy in her hand.

Soon, Mio and Ritsu were caught in a cat-and-mouse chase around the Yoshida family house.

Mio felt like she really wanted to kill someone.

'I take that all back,' she thought, panting, 'I don't want to get along with this idiot! !'

* * *

><p>After that long, tiring day, Mio and Ritsu were finally back inside their room in the dormitory.<p>

Mio felt like she was drenched with sweat from head to toe.

"With a bit of practice, Mio, you can be an excellent runner."

"Shut up! ! And don't call me by my given name!"

Luckily she still had the power to shout in anger.

"I want to take a shower first, and don't protest, since it's your fault I got sweaty all over!" Mio said, furiously taking out new clothes from her trolley case.

In the end, they couldn't finish cleaning the house since Ritsu spent every opportunity to either hide an object or getting chased around the house by a pissed off Mio.

"Where are you going?" Ritsu asked, stretching like a kitten on her bed.

"I've told you! I'm taking a shower first!" Mio replied, storming her way to the bathroom.

"Hmm..." Ritsu said, "I mean, why don't you take your clothes off here?"

...There was a limit in making fun of people, you know.

"Well, because you're a girl!" Mio said, a bit louder than she intended to, "And I'm not straight, so I can't!"

Ritsu raised her eyebrows in confusion. "Whaat? Then just think of me as a guy!"

"Can't you say anything that makes sense? ?"

This was getting more and more outrageous.

"You've seen mine under here," Ritsu said, pointing blatantly toward her chest, "Now we have to make it fair, don't we?"

"...We've gone over that already!" Mio said, almost stuttering, "I've accompanied you yesterday!"

"Why are you making such a big deal about this?" Ritsu said, obviously finding her reactions queer, "Surely you've changed with your friends in high school, or went to an onsen together in the old days, or something like that?"

"T-that's different, I always tried my hardest to make sure they didn't see much of me."

Why the hell did she have to admit this to her?

"Well, there's a first time to everything," Ritsu said, "You have seen mine, so I have to see yours. See? No harm done!"

Watching her sitting impatiently on her bed like that, Mio was reminded of the time when Ayame first asked her to take off her clothes.

It was also their first failed sex, since Ayame was just joking all along.

Wait a minute...

If Ritsu was like Ayame, there might be really no harm to take off her clothes.

She still wasn't sure of Ritsu's sexual orientation, but Mio knew Ritsu would hide it just for the sake of annoying her.

All of her actions were just for teasing her.

She didn't lose to Ayame back then, how could she possibly lose to Ritsu now?

Also, she was an adult. The time where she had to take off her clothes completely in front of any girl could come any day now, just like Ritsu said.

"...F-fine! It's just taking off some clothes, I can do it here."

If she did it quickly enough, she might not have to suffer from Ritsu's teasing.

However, something unexpected happened when she started pulling off her T-shirt, revealing her bra.

Ritsu, now lying on her stomach with her chin on her palm, was watching her every move so closely that Mio began to feel uncomfortable.

What was this feeling...?

No, Ritsu was just watching silently... Mio didn't feel like she was being teased with that action or anything. It seemed like Ritsu was saving her comments for later.

Then why...?

When Mio had lifted her T-shirt wide enough for a full view of her cleavage, her eyes met Ritsu's and she felt a sudden pang in her chest.

'...A...ya...'

...Ayame.

She swore her eyes had lied to her.

For a brief second, when Ritsu smiled at her, she felt like she saw Ayame lying on that bed instead of her.

Mio knew from day one that they resembled each other, but it was not that Ritsu was a dead ringer for Ayame...

She evaded her eyes, unable to look at Ritsu anymore as she unhooked her bra.

However, the feeling lingered.

The feeling of being watched...by Ayame.

'No, Mio...she is not Ayame...' she told herself, 'She is not... Ayame.'

"_...Mio...strip for me..."_

The sensation quickly ran from her head to the lower parts of her body. As if acting on reflex, her legs immediately closed the gap between them against her will. The small friction it made already drove her mind wild.

She noticed Ritsu's eyes were fixed on her breast and she felt that certain parts of her body were unexpectedly reacting against her favor.

Her breaths quickened, her mind was dizzy, but she tried to ignore them all and proceeded by taking off her pants.

It was when her hand touched her panties that she felt something she could not just ignore.

'...Why...?' she thought, her hand shaking, and the contact it made with her already sensitive part caused a gush of guilty pleasure in her blood.

'Why? ? I don't feel...anything for her!'

Yet...her body was...hot, and her private parts were burning as she continued to sweat, her long hair getting even messier than before. She debated with herself if she should say anything, but in the end she couldn't help herself to do it.

As she stood there trying to control her breathing, she noticed from the corner of her eye that Ritsu had stood up.

Her heart, which was already pounding so hard that her pendant was almost bouncing off her chest, accelerated its pulse when she watched Ritsu walking closer to her, emptying Mio's mind with every step.

Slowly and surely, she was becoming dead to all emotions but fear.

She wasn't ready for this.

She unconsciously took a step back and realized it was already a dead end in the form of a wall.

She could hear the laughs of the girls next door.

It was not soundproof.

Anyone could hear if she made any sounds while being cornered to the wall like this.

'If she touches me...' she thought, trying hard not to shudder, 'My body will...!'

With the last piece of common sense she desperately tried to save, Mio grabbed her towel and clothes and made a dash to the bathroom as fast as her shaky legs could carry her, her ears deaf to any words that came out of Ritsu's mouth.

In a complete daze, she slammed the door close behind her and locked it.

As she slumped down against the door, still unable to control both her emotions and breathing, she pondered on what in the world just happened to her.

She was just taking off her clothes, and Ritsu was watching her, and then... and then...

For a second that lasted like an eternity, it dawned on her that she was turned on by that action.

In a mere attempt to assure herself she was right, she touched the lower part of her panties once more.

It was damp.

She was really aroused.

How could this be?

With a girl like that, who teased and lied as she much as she pleased?

She disgusted herself.

"...Hey, Mio... I didn't mean to scare you."

That faint voice from outside the door was enough to make her heart jump once again.

"I just wanna tell you," she continued, "It's a lie if I say I'm not interested in you."

Which? Which was the lie? She couldn't understand anymore.

"So... I don't mind if you think of me as a replacement of Ayame."

How Ritsu could guess what had been bugging her all this time, Mio could never know.

At that time, Mio was so confused and distracted to even think about it.

She couldn't believe what ran inside her thoughts after she heard those words.

'...Was it in a friendly way...' her unconscious mind would say, '...Or a sexual way...?'

* * *

><p>AN: Here we are, guys, heading to the 'right' direction *shot*

Hopefully I've done a decent work here!

Thanks a lot Little Donkey for beta-ing the chap for me (and what you did next. you're unbelievable..)

Thanks for reading, R&R please! !


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Uploaded this in the middle of night... mind's a bit blurry lol. Thanks to Little Donkey for the short beta. Please enjoy it, everyone!

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 3<span>

"_Mio-chan, one day... I'll be the best drummer in the world!"_

* * *

><p>Humans are strange creatures.<p>

There is something called "identity" that they chase, not create, so desperately that if there are any other intelligent creatures on the planet, there is no doubt that they will pity and laugh at how humiliating humans are.

Some call it human nature, and some do not.

Either way, everything suddenly changed when the internet introduced a priceless gem called anonymity.

It was the dawn of a new era. Anyone could say anything that they wanted, while hiding behind the shields of anonymity and fake names, and soon, humans find new freedom to expose both the truth and lies to their hearts' content without having to hurt their popularity and image. Anonymity soon became a phenomenon in the internet, although somehow it debased the image of the internet itself.

But what if in real life?

Many would still hide. Hide behind the faces of lie and deceit they presented to the community in the sake of popularity and benefit.

'When did the world become so morally bankrupt?' Mio thought, 'Even these days, I can hardly find an out teenage lesbian.'

They know they had, and would always be, given a rough deal.

However, the internet did grant them a small piece of freedom.

That was why Mio found it harmless to surf around the net for a while, and she somehow stumbled upon a website owned by the university.

It was a forum created for students to share their thoughts, and it was obviously made for entertainment purposes, since each one of its user was wearing a fake name with annoyingly low levels of creativity.

As a reward, anonymity allows them to say anything they wanted. There was even a thread in which the users threw random damning criticisms towards people they hated for pure fun. In contrast, there were also simple threads like the one which discussed about how a mangaka's newest work was a cut above the rest, or a gossipy thread about a controversial couple who was found having a hot date while dabbling their feet in the swimming pool of the university.

However, among those countless threads, there was only one that attracted Mio's attention.

It was a thread unlike any other, the only thread that encouraged readers to embrace lesbianism.

Day after day, the comments in the thread kept increasing, some praising it, some mocking it, but there were others who posted long stories, their lack of knowledge in homosexuality, or their confusion and doubts as they felt any trace of ambiguity in the sexuality of their friends or themselves. There were even posts from closeted lesbians, homophobic replies, and neutral discussions.

In the usual decadent conversations in real life, there was a dearth of such kinds of discussions, and even if Mio ever heard one taking place, the death of that discussion would surely occur in minutes. That was why Mio kept track of the posts, despite not knowing what to expect from one day to the the next.

Then she also tried to look at the creator of the thread.

"**a151".**

Just as Mio thought, nobody had the guts to start such a controversial discussion without being completely anonymous.

* * *

><p>Mio's days in her new university were much more uneventful than the discussions on the net. She ordered decaffeinated coffee every morning and was still asked if she wanted regular coffee or decaf, she hung out with her classmates and listened to jokes that had been done to death, and no matter how much she wanted to come out to her new friends, she did the decent thing and kept silent about it.<p>

It wasn't like her days weren't enjoyable, she got some good laughs every once in a while, but she missed how she could really be herself without pretending to find this guy "attractive" or that guy "hot" when asked. All of a sudden she felt she was the one who was morally bankrupt, and it disgusted her.

And there was still that whole problem with Ritsu Tainaka.

After that incident, Ritsu kept teasing her about it in such a casual way that Mio wondered that it was all just an entertainment for Ritsu.

It was far worse than her pretending that nothing happened.

That was why when she heard Ritsu was meeting a girl on private at night, the urge to follow her and find something to deal a death blow to that stupid confidence of hers was too unbearable for Mio.

She soon found herself tracing the empty corridors and sidewalks while trying to keep herself unnoticed, and when Ritsu finally stopped walking, Mio felt victorious. They went inside a clubroom and let all the windows open, the perfect place for Mio to listen to anything they said.

"Are you sure you want to borrow my car, Shirosaki?"

It was not quite suitable for peeking, but from that position, Ritsu's voice was as clear as day.

"If you don't mind, Tainaka," Mio heard the reply.

"Are you sure? My car's seen better days," Ritsu laughed.

"It's fine," Shirosaki said quietly.

"What's wrong, Shirosaki? You seem tense," Ritsu said.

Mio couldn't see it, but she could guess she was right, since what followed after that was a few seconds of deafening silence. Even Mio unconsciously held her breath.

"I... want to ask you something," Shirosaki began, "I don't know how you deceive everyone into doing what you want...so you have to tell me honestly.."

"To be frank, you are being really vague about this," Mio could hear Ritsu sighing.

"Are you dating Fuyuko?"

For a moment the sudden surprise overwhelmed Mio's mind, but she quickly regained her common sense.

That was a pretty strange accusation there.

Shirosaki's infamous best friend, Fuyuko Suzuki, was one of the names most often mentioned in the forum threads, being suspected as the most boy-crazy girl in the whole university. If she wasn't seen with Shirosaki, it was almost certain that she was seen with a guy, who some people claimed to change every three hours.

Ritsu's response was pretty much the same as what was in Mio's mind.

"Are you joking?"

Shirosaki didn't laugh. "I saw you with her the other day, hugging and holding hands."

Ritsu replied with the most normal tone possible. "So what? It was just a friendly hug."

It didn't please Shirosaki. "Do you think I'm stupid?" Shirosaki said loudly, "Miss a151."

...a151? That a151? The creator of the lesbian thread?

If she managed to stay alive without being bullied or anything, then not many people knew about this.

"Everyone in this university knows you have a thing for girls, Tainaka."

What...?

"It's not like I'm trying to hide it," Ritsu said, with a small hint of irritation in her voice, "And if you accuse me of that just because you know I'm gay, you're being an idiot. You're deceiving yourself if you think everyone I touch will magically turn gay."

Shirosaki's next words were shaky. "After you created that thread, she began to feel insecure about herself. You have no idea how much she has been through. She doesn't even believe if she knows herself anymore, you're the one who makes her.."

"Oh, I see now," Ritsu interrupted, "You're the one she was talking about."

"You are..."

"She has confessed to you, hasn't she?" Ritsu said, "Suzuki is in love with you."

There was a pause. "She totally isn't! She's being delusi-"

"Okay, you're obviously the one being delusional here."

"I can't believe you!" Shirosaki roared, "You're the one who pushed her to do this right? ? Now things between us will never be the same like before ever again!"

"Then just go date her."

Mio expected Shirosaki to give her a harsh reply, but she didn't. For a while they just stood there in silence, not saying anything to each other. Mio contemplated on whether she should sneak away now or not, but before she could take a decision, the door swung open and a girl with long curly brown hair ran away toward the darkness, almost bumping into Mio outside the door. As she listened to her footsteps growing fainter and fainter, Mio sighed in relief that she wasn't found out.

That was when the other girl noticed her standing there.

"Such a stalker you are," Ritsu greeted with smirk.

Mio replied her with the fiercest snarl she could make.

"So you're gay."

"And what's the point? You'll hear that from anyone else in the university sooner or later," Ritsu said, shrugging.

Mio stared at her. "Are you trying to get killed by homophobes?"

"Did you know that coming out is the most satisfying way to annoy the hell out of homophobes?"

"Whatever."

What's with this girl, really?

She didn't even seem to put on the defensive when Shirosaki was questioning her.

She had been dead set on living the life that Mio had tried so desperately to avoid.

And maybe...just maybe...a life that Mio had been dreaming of.

"What was that all about?" Mio asked.

"Poor Shirosaki might suspect I did some kind of black magic to Suzuki because she suddenly confessed to her. Probably because she saw me giving advice to Suzuki the day before," Ritsu scoffed, "Suzuki is a defeatist. She's the type who wouldn't be caught dead going inside a lesbian bar even if she memorizes every single one in this city. Of course it'll come as a shock for Shirosaki. Just let her rest and she might feel a great deal better tomorrow."

"Shirosaki isn't gay."

"So was Suzuki."

"You might have a point there."

"Say, are you free for the night?"

Mio stared at her. "I don't drink."

"I never asked. You used to play bass, right?"

How did she...oh, Ayame's letter. Mio nodded.

"I'm going to hang out with some friends who are members of a band. Come with me?"

She didn't like Ritsu's deceptive tone. "I'm not your girlfriend you can show off to your friends."

"I never said that either! Gee, don't just jump into conclusions," Ritsu said impatiently, "Or are you implying..."

"Over my dead body."

"Aw, sucks," Ritsu looked up, "I'll treat you whatever you want then. How about it?"

"Deal me in. Where are we going?"

"What the..That's quick!"

Recession helped.

* * *

><p>The small and cramped bar looked like something the police just decriminalized. There were traces of decor all over the place, as if the walls and ceiling used to be decked out in some things, presumably creepy skulls and rusty chandeliers that were stacked in the corner. When Mio took a step inside the bar, she wondered why she was here in the dead of night instead of going home to her warm blanket and sleep. Ayame had brought her to some bars to party numerous times before, and Mio would always look dead beat for two days straight afterward. The alcohol had such an abnormally strong, deadening effects on Mio's reactions too, and she didn't like it.<p>

"There they are, Akira! Sachi!" Ritsu waved her hand to the two girls sitting on one of the tables.

Akira.

Sachi.

Mio's eyes widened.

She was right.

She shouldn't have come.

"Riitsu, what took you so long?" the girl with the spiky black hair and earrings stood up from her seat and shook her head.

"Hey, Mio, let me introduce you to..."

Akira Wada.

Mio knew.

Mio knew too well...

In the bottom of her heart, she still wished these people were not Akira and Sachi that she knew, that they were just people who looked exactly like them, or whatever reason that could eliminate their only connection with Mio.

"Who is this, Ritsu..." Akira looked at Mio as Mio's eyes slowly descended to the ground, "Wait a minute..."

"Akiyama, long time no see!"

Those greetings from Sachi were the last nice thing in their group conversation that night.

"Mio Akiyama...?"

Akira's dangerously cold tone brought every painful memory back to Mio's brain. She still didn't dare to look at Akira's face.

"Ritsu, you know this girl?"

"Uh, she's my roommate," Ritsu said, taking a step back when she noticed how much hatred there was in Akira's voice.

She leaned closer to Mio and whispered, "Get away from my sight, you bitch!"

"Akira!" Ritsu said, confused, "What the hell? ?"

"Get away from my fucking sight! !" she bellowed. Half of the bar were now looking at them.

"Akira!" Sachi exclaimed.

Akira raised her hand and Sachi had to stop her from slapping Mio's face.

Ritsu was enraged. "Akira, what's with you? ?"

"Fuck you Ritsu, I know her better than you do! !" she shouted, "She killed my friend. She killed Ayame! !"

"_Murderer...!"_

Mio still remembered clearly, how Akira spit that word out at her in front of Sachi and everyone in the funeral.

It still haunted her in her nightmares sometimes, waking her up with her face covered with tears...

"Akira, stop! Akiyama didn't kill anyone!"

"Murderer! You murderer! !"

Sachi had to struggle with Akira now to stop her from attacking Mio, but Mio had made a decision.

She knew Ritsu was looking at her in disbelief...and for some reason Mio didn't want to see it.

...So she muttered it without looking.

"Good bye, Ritsu."

And just like that, she left the table and wandered to the dark alleys, her distorted heart devoid of any emotion but grief.

* * *

><p>When did she last play her bass?<p>

For several years, music and songwriting were her greatest passion, although she felt too timid to join any kind of band.

When they were in grade shool, Ayame introduced her to music, and from that day on, they shared the joys of music together, trying out the beats of every song they liked.

And she was the one who hindered Ayame from enjoying music any longer.

She was so selfish.

That was why she couldn't help herself to even look at her bass anymore.

She looked up at the sky and saw the gloomy patches of clouds covering the whole area, visible in the night thanks to the moon.

Why did she end up here of all places?

She had always hated parks, because it reminded her of her dates with Ayame...

"...I've heard the story from Akira..."

Ritsu.

Why was she here?

"But I still want to hear it from you."

She handed her a small handkerchief, which Mio didn't use.

Ritsu sat next to her and followed her gaze. They didn't exchange words at all for five full minutes, and Mio wondered why she was still there. She had heard the story from Akira. She could just walk away.

"Ritsu.."

"I'm still here," she replied calmly.

"Ayame was pushing herself too much," she said blankly, "Ever since that day, when I came to her after coming out to my dad. My dad wants me to marry a successful businessman. Even if Ayame was a guy, her career just wouldn't make it."

She waited if Ritsu would make a response, but she just whistled softly to herself.

"At that time I was so afraid that I would be disowned by my dad. Ayame knew that and decided to work harder than ever. In the end she..." Mio took a deep breath and continued, "...I was responsible for everything."

"Aren't you overthinking it?"

"It's not like that!" she said, almost stuttering, "I...I was like my dad. I never protested her decision of becoming a musician...but I doubted it. I doubted it would work well enough for our future! I, too, hoped she would just become something else. I told her all that, and we fought so badly that night. I'm just as bad as my dad... !"

Her head dropped into her hands and tears slipped down her cheeks.

"_Mio-chan, one day I'll be the best drummer in the world...!"_

It was...it seemed...

...so long ago.

How did things turn out this way...? How could she do that to the girl who was always by her side when she cried...?

She desperately hoped she could turn back time - went back to when Ayame's warm arms were always there for her - and tell her with a smile, "You will become the best drummer in the world."

And everything would be okay.

Ayame would still be alive, they would still be together...and she could still see her smile...

The smile she missed so much it hurt...

"Ayame, I miss you..."

She sobbed on that park bench for one full hour.

During the whole time, Ritsu was being uncharacteristically silent and deep in thoughts, her eyes fixated at the clouds.

"Ritsu.."

"I'm still here."

"Should we go back?"

"Hm..." she said, "Can you look at me for a second?"

"Huh...?"

It happened so fast that Mio wondered if she had thought of doing this from an hour earlier. Ritsu put a hand behind Mio's ear, pulled Mio's face close to hers and pressed their lips together. It was no more than a peck, and took no longer than a second.

Before Mio could recover from utter shock and disbelief, Ritsu stood up and said, "I'm still here."

Then she turned away, and Mio swore she could hear her saying something else as she walked.

"Always here."

* * *

><p>AN: M rating incoming in chapter 4, and hopefully the wait won't be as long as this one. R&R!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: After so long, I've finally finished this chap! Woohoo! As usual, thanks to Little Donkey for the beta.

Have fun, everyone!

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 4<span>

"_Don't cry, Mio-chan, I'm here for you! I'm still here, I won't leave you. I won't leave your side like your mama, I will be there when you need a hug, I will be there when you're crying. I won't leave Mio-chan alone."_

* * *

><p>She left small tracks on the snow as she ran.<p>

It was one of the coolest winter days, and Ayame's band was having a sleepover at her home to prepare for the upcoming competition.

Mio read from the news that the temperature would decrease by a few degrees that night, but she still went out anyway. She carefully wrapped the bento box and held it close inside her jacket to keep it as warm as possible, and then braced herself to face the cold outside.

When she arrived at Ayame's house, however, she was almost knocked out cold by Ayame before even having the chance to take a step inside.

"Mioooo! ! I'm so sorry for making you come all the way heeeeere! !"

"Ayame, you're killing her," Akira sighed, and Sachi giggled behind her.

"Let go of me! And put down your drumsticks before you hug!" Mio said, gasping for air.

"You made the bento for me? You went to the trouble of waking up before daybreak to cook it for me? Thank you!" she said, jumping up and down.

"I never said any of those! And it's not just for you!"

"Ayame, just let her breathe already..."

A few minutes later, the band decided to have a break and sit at the table together with Mio.

"Guys, our dispute with The Deep Dye is a dead-end street," Akira began, "I met the main vocalist yesterday. They won't give up the song no matter what."

"That old hag," Ayame said, rolling her eyes.

"The Deep Dye?" Mio said, opening her bento box.

"It's a band from Kikukawa University," Sachi explained.

"We've somehow become deadly enemies thanks to competitions," Akira added, "And Ayame, I don't think she's that old."

"She must be 30 if she's a day," Ayame said with a deadpan stare.

"Are you definite that there isn't any way out of this?" Sachi asked, her eyebrows raised.

Akira laughed weakly. "No. We can't risk using the song, our points will be deducted for...an act of defiance or whatever. We could have beaten them for the song because the deadline was deferred once, if only we didn't rely on someone who completely lacks decisiveness..."

"Hey!" Ayame said, glaring at her, "It was just not my day, okay? A lot of bad things happened."

"I'm pretty definite that one of these days we'll hear that kind of excuse again from her," Akira mumbled.

"Hey, I've really been through one of those days!" Ayame defended herself, sticking her nose up in the air, "Besides, I'm going to dedicate my whole life to music, and this competition might be a decisive step toward my future. I won't be deflected from my commitments because of some shitty reason. I defy anyone to try..."

"Yeah, yeah, we know you're a dedicated drummer," Akira said sarcastically.

"Your explanation defies belief!" Sachi said happily.

"Sachi, that hurt!"

"By the way, Akiyama, when are you gonna join a band?" Akira turned to her and Mio looked at her nervously.

She smiled in awkwardness. "I-I haven't decided yet."

Akira grunted. "How many times have I told you, Akiyama? Your talent is a waste if you never use it!"

"But I guess being in a band is too much for me," Mio replied, shaking her head.

Akira stared at her incredulously. "What good is your bass then? ? You're being-"

Her words were interrupted by a groan of pain as Ayame suddenly elbowed her ribs and said, "Akira! Can't you be more polite? ?"

"I'm just stating the obvious!" she said, doubling over in pain.

"Hm, Akiyama, this tastes so good!" Sachi praised, picking up more food with her chopsticks.

"As expected from Mio," Ayame grinned, putting her arms around Mio.

"I've told you I didn't cook it myself."

"At least you know where to buy stuff then."

"Say, Ayame," Sachi said, pausing a bit before continuing, "I saw you going inside the hospital yesterday. Was there something wrong?"

That made the other girls freeze and stare at Ayame uneasily.

"Wait, why are you guys looking at me like that? I was just doing a regular checkup," she responded, "I didn't feel well a few days ago and I went to the hospital without delay. They said there was nothing serious, but they need me to come back regularly for some time to make sure."

"You never told me," Mio said. Her heart felt heavy all of a sudden.

"I just don't want anyone to worry," Ayame said, leaning back on her chair, "It's nothing big, let's just take it one day at a time. And aren't you forgetting something? I'm the deathless Ayame Yoshida, I can survive anything!"

She shrugged and laughed lightly, and Mio found herself smiling a little. Perhaps she was just thinking too much after all.

That was when it happened.

"Oh crap, I forgot to buy ingredients for dinner!" Ayame stood up from her chair, "I'll be right back, guys!"

"Wait, Ayame, you don't need to cook for us," Akira said as Ayame was putting on her scarf and coat.

"Oh well, I still wanna buy you guys something. I'll feel bad if I don't," she said with a wink.

A swirling, uncomfortable feeling suddenly invaded Mio's mind and conscious, and her stomach was churning so badly that it startled her.

She remembered it now.

This was when _it_ happened.

Out of the blue, everything around her moved in slow motion and she realized this was all a fragment of memory.

She knew what was going to happen.

And the nightmare that would soon follow.

Mio stared in horror as Ayame took a step toward the door.

And another.

Mio's eyes widened with each step.

_No...don't go_.

Akira and Sachi waved Ayame good bye..

_Please don't go..._

She put on her shoes and opened the door..

_Please ..._

Ayame turned to Mio and gave her one last smile...

_Please stop...!_

"Ayame...! !"

"Mio...!"

* * *

><p>Mio's eyes fluttered open.<p>

Her heart was thumping so fast that she felt she had been running for miles. Her deathly pale face was covered in sweat, and the numbing pain blurred her vision.

"Oi, Mio."

By degrees Mio regained her senses, and she realized she was suffering a delayed reaction due to the shock. She tried to sit upright on her bed.

"Yeah...?" she mumbled quickly. She still couldn't see Ritsu's face too clearly, but she didn't really want to. Looking at her face reminded her of the kiss the night before, and it was the last thing she needed at that moment.

She wished Ritsu wasn't so casual about the whole thing.

It felt like torture.

"I want ice cream," she suddenly said.

Mio blinked. "What...?"

"Do you like ice cream?"

Mio stared at her in confusion. "Perhaps...?"

"Wait here. I'll buy you some."

Before Mio could say anything else, she had walked out of the room.

For a few minutes Mio did nothing but stare at the ceiling.

'...Oh...' Mio thought after a while, 'She just noticed I had a nightmare...and decided to give me some time alone huh...'

She inwardly thanked her, but the bad dream deluged her mind with so many emotions that she started to feel nauseous.

'Get over it already, me..' she scolded herself, 'Ayame is dead.'

Because Mio possessed no memory of Ayame's last moments, that seemingly cheerful and innocent scene kept on being replayed in her nightmares.

It was the day when Ayame fainted on her way to the mart, and she was never seen walking ever again.

Mio kept accusing herself for not realizing Ayame's worsened condition and her defiant habits. The decrease in temperature that day was too much for her body to handle, and she was immediately rushed to the hospital, never leaving it ever since.

"A girlfriend is, by definition, someone who always delivers when she promises that you can always count on her," she said, "...That means I can't even be called one."

"Nobody said you can just go getting delusions of grandeur."

"Wah, Ritsu! !" Mio almost fell from her bed.

Ritsu was standing at the door, holding two ice cream cones on her hands.

"Sorry, you sounded too much like you were deluding yourself so I just had to say it."

"I'm not! I already know I'm the worst girlfriend in the world!" she yelled in frustration, not deigning to look at Ritsu at all, "I know you take great delight in upsetting me and making fun of me, so just stop doing that already."

"Look," Ritsu began, "You have such a dejected look on your face right now."

It took her a while to realize there were small traces of tears on her face.

Was she crying in her sleep?

She rubbed her face quickly with her sleeves and stood up.

"You're not being really delightful, you know that?" Mio said, snatching the ice cream from Ritsu's hand, "If you haven't gone to the trouble of buying me this, I would've delivered a blow so hard I would've sent you flying."

"That'll be the day," Ritsu said, sticking her tongue out.

"It'll be exactly two hours from now."

"What!" Ritsu scowled.

"It usually takes that long for me to get over a bad dream..." she said nonchalantly, looking at her ice cream, "...And a bit of food."

She lost her mother when she was ten. She was never close to her father, so ever since that day, the only thing that could protect her from her constant fear of scary things and nightmares, were Ayame's hugs. And now when that, too, was taken away from her, she could only curl under her blanket alone and cry...

"Mio, it's melting..."

"Oh..." was all she could say.

"You act mature, but you're still a baby," Ritsu delved in her bag on the table for a handkerchief, and started cleaning the drips of ice cream on Mio's fingers.

Mio noticed the handkerchief.

It was the one she lent to her last night.

She almost wanted to pull back, but Ritsu's touches were so warm and pleasant.

It had been so long since she was treated with such gentleness.

What Ritsu said wasn't exactly wrong... she had always been acting tough around her peers, even in front of her best friends Yui and Mugi.

However, she found herself melting so easily like ice cream in front of Ritsu.

Was it because she resembled Ayame? She didn't know the reason to this day, but something in her presence filled the painful hollowness in her heart, the thing she hated the most after Ayame's death...and she didn't care in the slightest.

All she wanted was getting rid of this pain, and if this girl could somehow make it a bit better, then so be it.

"You've been staring at my face for a whole minute now..." Ritsu said.

Mio quickly made up an excuse.

"I'm just thinking of some things."

"Maybe I should kiss you to make you feel better?" Ritsu said with a sly grin.

Which was immediately followed by a smack.

Mio left Ritsu dealing with the pain and went into the bathroom, secretly smiling to herself.

It really took much less than two hours for the blow to happen.

* * *

><p>When it had been three weeks to the day since Mio moved to her new dorm, Nodoka suddenly came to her room. At that time, Ritsu wasn't around because she was hanging out with Akira and Sachi once again.<p>

"I have good news, Akiyama-san, in two days or so, Enomoto-san is ready to move away," Nodoka said, "After that, you can move to Oga-san's room."

There was a long pause.

"Oh, right, I was planning to change rooms," she finally said.

Nodoka blinked a few times. "Don't tell me you've changed your mind?" she said, "If that so, perhaps I should cancel the..."

"No, no, I'm fine with it!"

"Um, you want it or refuse it? Which one?"

It felt weird. She was so sure about this back then.

Don't tell her Ritsu was growing on...no, she couldn't even bear thinking about that.

"Well?" Nodoka asked again.

"Yes, I absolutely want to move!" Mio said, staring at her slippers.

"...You sound like you are convincing yourself."

"I absolutely want to!"

"I heard that! Don't scream!" Nodoka said, startled.

A few minutes later, Mio was having a troubled dinner in the cafeteria; her mind was working as hard as her mouth.

'Ritsu is definitely not growing at me. If something like that happens, I might be better off in a new room,' she thought.

"When are you moving anyway?"

Mio almost choked on her half-munched food.

"Can you stop surprising me from behind? ?"

"Sorry, it's just so fun to do."

Mio could smell a strong stench of alcohol in the air.

"Were you drink..." Mio's voice trailed off when she turned around and saw two familiar people behind Ritsu.

"Having fun. Correct, Akiyama. If only Ritsu didn't _insist_ we go here and delve into your shameful past," Akira said, trying to look away from Mio, but Ritsu's elbow hit her ribs and she yelled, "Ow!"

"Akira! Be more polite to her, will you?"

Mio didn't like this.

Ritsu didn't know how much it was for her to be inside the same room with her, Akira, and Sachi.

Especially now when they all looked a bit tipsy.

"Isn't it enough for you that I've gone all this way to meet your demands?" Akira said.

"What I want from you is, stop demeaning yourself by acting like a rude, selfish prick," Ritsu said, clearly annoyed, "Now apologize."

"For some reason I find that even more demeaning."

"Akira!"

"Oh, shut up already!" Akira said, raking her fingers through her spiky hair.

"Akira...! You know how much Mio's been crying all over Ayame's death? ? If you're implying she actually enjoys it..."

"You sicken me, Ritsu..." Akira said coldly, "Unlike you, I've known this girl for years and she hasn't changed one bit. The usual cool, gorgeous Mio Akiyama. And Ritsu, don't try to bring this problem up ever again. You're a nobody to..."

" Fuck you, Akira, Mio is my roommate...! !" she screamed, "You think I can just stand there and watch her cry all day...? ?"

"Playing hero, now, Ritsu? I'm not stupid," Akira said with a sneer, "Sachi, tell her!"

Sachi, who looked like she wanted to be anywhere else but there, hesitantly opened her mouth.

"Akira...I don't want to do this."

Akira's eyes were so full of rage and hatred that Mio almost mistook it for derangement. "_Tell them_...!"

With a last glance to Akira and Mio, she took a deep breath and said, "I saw you guys... yesterday..."

Mio felt her stomach churn.

_She saw it...she saw..._

She lowered her voice a little. "I saw you guys kissing."

Ritsu said nothing.

Akira gave a bitter, triumphant laugh. "If you're just 'helping' her to get into her pants, you should've told us earlier than that, Ritsu," she said, "And Akiyama, too. Were you crying tears of happiness? Now that you've gotten over Ayame and found a new plaything?"

Mio almost broke down crying as she stared at her plate.

Akira put her hand under her chin and roughly made her look into her eyes.

There was no sympathy in them.

"If I were you, Akiyama, I would've killed myself," Akira said bluntly, "As you deserve it."

* * *

><p>She was the one who should have died.<p>

Not only did she take Ayame's future away, she also took her life.

And she got kissed by another girl, but she didn't feel guilty at all about it.

She even thought that it gave her a small bit of pleasure that she had deprived herself of so much.

_Anything but this pain..._

"Akira is still a child."

Ritsu's voice sounded like it came from so far away.

"She just wants someone to blame for Ayame's death. She acts tough, but she's still a baby. Just like you, Mio."

"I told you not to call me Mio," she said, wiping her face, "You shouldn't have kissed me, it's wrong, it's..."

"What, you want to be kissed by a guy instead?" Ritsu said as she sank into her bed.

"Just leave me alone!" she sobbed, "I'm handling myself well enough before you came and you...you..."

"You're blaming me now? Fine! I look too much like Ayame, don't I? And I act too much like her too, don't I? You think you're the only one who said that to me? _You think Akira and Sachi don't think that way about me? ?_"

Mio looked up to her. Ritsu was standing right in front of her, her face sweaty and flushed.

"When you see me, you see Ayame," she said, "You never look at me as just...me. I know I'm so much like her, so I play along. I found out you can't refuse me, because I remind you of her. But before I realized it, I have really become her. I have..."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mio asked, clearly confused.

"I love you, dammit!" she replied sadly.

Mio froze in the spot.

All of a sudden she knew what she meant to say.

_I become too much like her..._

_I love you just like she loved you..._

_I wish I could just become her and died...and remained in your memory forever..._

"Ritsu..."

For a second Mio felt like hugging her, but she hesitated.

Ritsu let out a small laugh.

"You know what, I don't care anymore," she said, "Don't you want to touch her again, Mio...?"

"What are you..."

But it seemed like Ritsu had given up talking.

Mio found her body being unexpectedly pushed down on her bed with a surprising amount of strength. Mio coughed and groaned, but before she could recover from the shock, Ritsu's lips had come crushing onto hers.

She could feel all the desperate, pent-up frustration, all the raging jealousy she felt for Ayame in that one single kiss.

Mio couldn't tolerate alcohol, and the kiss was intense and awful. She wished she had the strength to push her away.

But Ritsu won the game.

Whatever it was that she was wildly betting on, she was clearly winning.

Mio found the feelings that she had locked up when Ayame died, burst out of her chest and invaded her whole body.

_It's been too long...too painful..._

_I miss everything about her..._

Her mind was screaming for her to escape, to run away, to move to another town and never look back.

But what difference would that make...?

She would be tortured by that same guilt all over again.

...And why should she...?

They finally broke off and Ritsu climbed off her bed.

"...You can hate me now."

Mio knew that tone.

It was the tone of loneliness.

She had been using that tone to everyone she knew after Ayame's death.

"You look like a loser."

"I always have been," Ritsu said softly, "In your eyes there is only Ayame."

"Was that kiss your declaration of defeat?"

Ritsu smiled weakly.

"Still need to ask?" she said simply.

They stared at each other. "Because it didn't really qualify as one at all."

A few minutes of silence passed before Mio finally said, "Ayame told me I had always been so easy to read. I always try to hide my feelings from everybody, and they always seem to find out somehow. Like how you said that I..." tears filled her eyes as she spoke, "...I want to touch her again..."

That was when she couldn't hold herself back anymore.

"I want to do it..."

She collapsed on the bed and buried her face in her hands.

"I want to do it...so badly..."

_...Felt so alone..._

_...I want to die...I want to go to where you are..._

That was when she realized Ritsu's arms were already wrapped around her.

And her hands were slowly moving upwards..

'Whatever...' Mio thought, gazing at the ceiling, 'I've had enough.'

Blinded by her desperation and need, she didn't object as Ritsu began to undo her shirt.

Ritsu seemed to understand what she was thinking. Their lips locked once more before their eyes did, and Ritsu stopped moving, as if asking for one final permission. But Mio was too tearful to speak, or feel, because she didn't realize Ritsu was unbuttoning her jeans.

They didn't exchange words anymore after that. It was just their incomprehensible moans, the occasional creaks of Mio's bed, and their clothes softly thrown to the floor. Even after they were completely naked, Ritsu refused to touch most of Mio's sensitive parts. Their first make-out session lasted for one painful hour, but Mio didn't mind. It was like they were learning about each other like never before, slowly but surely...and Mio soon learned Ritsu wasn't taking it slow.

"I...can't...I..." Ritsu suddenly said, "I'm taking advantage of you...why aren't you running away?"

Mio didn't understand either.

Her mind felt numb...and dirty. Dirty of desires.

"You're forgetting..."

Dirty and uncaring...

"...that I'm taking advantage of you, too," she said before pressing her lips on Ritsu's once again.

She felt a satisfying wave surging through her body when she felt Ritsu moaned huskily into her mouth. She wondered if this was enough for Ritsu to break her hesitation and just touch her more already, because she was seriously getting an unbelievable desire for her. It seemed to work, because Ritsu's hand touched Mio's hips and found the spot between her thighs pretty quickly. Rewarded by Mio's sudden intake of breath, Ritsu broke the kiss and smiled slyly to the other girl.

A smile that was so much like Ayame's...

Mio's head spun. She knew what that smile meant. Ritsu's fingers had felt that she was genuinely getting hotter.

Mio grabbed her arm, but made no attempt to stop Ritsu from feeling her desire. She knew it was a clear evidence, and permission, that she definitely could continue. Ritsu licked her lips as her gaze wandered to Mio's hips. The sight of her tongue made Mio shudder, and from the way Ritsu's eyes lightened up as she moved her fingers between her lower lips, Mio knew her body was craving for it.

But before she could prepare her mind, Ritsu had already started rubbing her clitoris, and everything else flew from Mio's mind.

Pleasure and lust were the only ones left.

She whimpered and moaned, feeling her hotness taking over her inner thighs, as Ritsu diverted her attention to her slit, rubbing the tips of her fingers up and down the wetness. Mio moaned even louder, furious at how her mind gave in to Ritsu's touches so easily.

'What the fuck…am I doing right now…'

It had been too long since she felt this kind of passion.

As they drowned in their newfound pleasure, hands tangled in each other's hair, the tension kept building and building, and when Ritsu began to add much pressure and roughness to her touches, Mio lost it. Trembling in ecstasy, she broke the rhythm of their bodies, and waves of her orgasm washed her mind, releasing uncontrollable cries of satisfaction from her mouth.

She would regret it.

She would regret it after the sun rose outside the window and she realized what she had just done.

She had betrayed Ayame and her selfless hard work that she had devoted to Mio until her very last breath.

She should have killed herself.

Just like Akira always said.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Daredevil chapter 5 is here! Thanks to Little Donkey for the beta.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 5<span>

"_You're here again..."_

"_Ah... I'm found out."_

"_Why do you always go here...?"_

"_Oh...Because it makes me feel stronger somehow."_

"_How so...?"_

"_Here I can meet my stubborn friends."_

"_...I don't see anything here."_

"_One day you might understand."_

"_You said it as if I would never understand."_

"_Bingo, you read my mind."_

* * *

><p>When Ayame was feeling dejected, she would often go out to a meadow.<p>

She said that watching the grass sway in the wind calmed her down, and she would sit there for hours on end, until she felt better and thanked nature for cheering her up again.

That was why on that faithful morning Mio asked Ritsu to accompany her to a nearby meadow, even before her throbbing headache was gone.

Ayame would have to be here after what Mio had done the night before.

So unforgivable.

So mindless.

After all what Ayame had gone through.

"Do you want to die...?"

The soft voice came from the shorter girl behind her.

Since they opened their eyes that morning, she had given Mio nothing but concerned looks.

"I never mention anything to you about dying."

"When I guess, I always go for the worst possibility."

"What's that?" Mio said, slightly amused, "You must be a terrible gambler..."

There was a pause before she heard a reply.

"...Did I lose when I bet everything last night...?"

Mio noticed there was hopelessness in that voice.

Something that was the complete opposite from how Ritsu was the night before.

Devoid of warmth and feeling.

"I nearly died last night," Ritsu continued, "When you saw my..."

Mio snorted.

"Ritsu, you're terrible," she said lightly.

"I'm sorry," she said with a disarming smile, "...Did I ruin your abstinence?"

"You are _such_ an idiot," Mio said bluntly.

Ritsu fixed her eyes on the sky and said, "Your Honor, I swear I didn't rape her."

"You idiot!"

"Whoa! Did I? ?"

"Why are you so fucking insensitive? !"

"I don't..."

"When will you ever look at the situation and think before you open your big fat mouth! ?"

"I don't ...I don't know, okay! ?" Ritsu exclaimed, "...I don't know...what I should say."

Mio groaned. "Are you socially awkward?"

"Darn it. You're clearly looking down at me," Ritsu said in irritation.

Mio sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Have you_ ever_ had a girlfriend? This is the exact timing where any normal person would shut up about rape."

"Well I'm sorry I'm not normal! You don't have to say it, you know... I understand."

Mio frowned and turned away from her.

Why the hell did she bring this idiot here when she obviously needed space?

Did she feel so guilty that she brought Ritsu here for Ayame to judge, just as Ritsu thought?

She didn't know.

The wind suddenly became stronger and all of a sudden the air was filled with dandelion seeds.

For years, Mio couldn't understand the appeal of the landscape, but now she did.

It was a breathtaking sight, as small countless seeds dispersed in the air, light as cotton, ready for a difficult journey which would lead each of them to a new life.

Some of them would die, but some of them would survive.

What would happen, Mio wondered, if dandelion seeds had feelings like humans...?

Departing from their parents together with their beloved brothers, experiencing an unbelievable journey they would never forget, and searching for a new beautiful meadow together...but only a handful of them could live.

Would they die of grief...?

Or would they live on to replace the lives of their loved ones...?

Mio had known the answer a long time ago.

"_Because it makes me feel stronger somehow."_

They would.

They might cry and mourn, but they would stubbornly, heartlessly grow.

They had no other choice.

Every one of them was born to the same fate.

The fate to watch their loved ones die, before they go on with their life and grow...

"Mio..."

...No matter how difficult the life in front of them seemed to be.

"...I don't regret what I did..." the brunette said, "Because when I said I bet everything, I really meant it. And...I don't what you to regret anything, either. That is why I'm going to go."

Mio turned quickly to her.

Ritsu was smiling.

"I'm going to vanish from your life," she said, "Admit it, having me in your life is a recipe for disaster. I shouldn't be here in front of you. I will disappear and you can start your life anew."

She then flashed the grin that first reminded Mio of her past lover and said, "...We shouldn't have met."

* * *

><p>Have you ever felt like you knew what you always wanted, but at the same you didn't...?<p>

And when you realized what your true desire was, it was already too late.

Nothing could be undone anymore.

If life was always this confusing, how did so many people live it and say, "I love my life"?

Wanting distraction more than anything, Mio couldn't help herself to come back to her dorm room and head straight to Ayame's house.

She was dying to work on something, anything.

Anything to get rid of this agonizing headache.

She didn't know how it suddenly crossed her mind that some parts of the house were still in a state of dilapidation, but she needed the distraction.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, panting heavily.

It was still early in the morning, and yet she felt like it had been a very long day.

After she could control her breathing again, she wondered about the events that just hit her.

She had sex with Ritsu.

Ritsu was leaving because of her.

And she had lost all sense of direction in life. Her mind had already been thrown into complete disarray.

How did everything go so disastrously wrong...?

She didn't know where, at some point of her life, she forgot how true happiness felt like.

She had always been with Ayame after her mother passed away.

Then after Ayame was gone, she continued on her own, not knowing where to go as she struggled to live.

All she knew was that she was still here and not where Ayame and her mother were.

Did that mean that she was strong? Or stubborn?

Or was it there something that made her refuse to die...?

"_I'm still here..."_

'No...' she told herself, 'Ritsu is not Ayame. And she's leaving anyway.'

"'I'm still here', my ass," she whispered, "Liar..."

Maybe Ritsu had really grown on her.

Maybe she didn't want Ritsu to go.

But for her, it was always a "maybe".

She didn't dare to dig deeper into her feelings.

The warmth that Ritsu gave her had gently, gradually melted the wall of ice she built around herself.

It was not like Mio would ever admit it.

It was too late anyway.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, Mio got up and walked into the living room.

Thanks to Ritsu, the house was as dusty as when they first walked into it back then. Piles of boxes were still scattered everywhere, and spider webs filled the corners of the dingy room. Mio shivered when she glanced at the webs. Maybe she should have brought Ritsu with her.

Why didn't she feel afraid at all when she came here with Ritsu back then...?

She shook her head and headed to the nearest box, determined to clean the house for real this time.

It seemed to be filled to the rim with random magazines.

Feeling that she should throw the outdated stuff away, Mio pulled out the magazines and stacked them on the dusty floor.

That was when she noticed there was something left at the bottom of the box.

It was a small worn-out piece of paper.

Out of sheer curiosity, Mio picked it up and examined it.

Her eyes widened in shock.

It could be any random writing.

Of all the papers she could find in that whole house, it had to be that one.

She read it again before crumpling it in her shaky hand.

"**Kyoto Women's University General Online Forum Student Account**

**Megumi Sokabe**** Ayame Yoshida**

**Username: a151**

**Password: akiyamamio"**

* * *

><p>Some things were better left unsaid.<p>

Because when the time came for you to finally find out the truth, you might regret ever knowing it.

That was one of the things that Ritsu believed, as she stood firmly in front of Ayame's grave.

"So..." she said calmly, "This is the first time we met face to face since that time, huh?"

It felt like it happened a long, long time ago.

"Yoshida...Mio is much stronger than you thought," she said again, "But you were right about a few things. She still loves you, and she still feels so guilty about your death."

"I_ don't_ love her."

Ritsu was astonished when she realized that someone was standing behind her.

Mio's voice was several pitches higher than usual, and she was clearly crying.

"Why did I know..." her voice cracked, "...that I can find you here...when I didn't see you in the dorm..."

"Mio...what..."

"How do you own Ayame's account...?" she asked dangerously, "You knew her. You knew her before we met and yet you...you..."

Ritsu's eyes dilated with fear.

"Explain to me now! !" she screamed as she threw the crumpled piece of paper to Ritsu's feet, "Explain to me! Ritsu! !"

* * *

><p><em>Sometimes Ritsu thought, if they had met in any other way, they could become good friends.<em>

_However, Ritsu Tainaka and Ayame Yoshida were far from that._

_They could be called acquaintances, as they were acquainted through competitions._

_Although she had watched Ayame perform with her band many times, she hardly knew anything about the drummer. They just often bumped into each other with the subtle air of rivalry between them._

_Then the inevitable happened._

_In a certain popularity contest, their bands won the same number of votes, and it dashed all of their chances to ever befriend each other properly._

_Ever since that day, their encounters were filled with nothing but conflicts and arguments._

_Their silent rivalry suddenly sparked into a full on collision._

_Ritsu didn't mean it to turn out that way._

_However, one day both of them really lost it and they began shouting meaningless things at each other. Ritsu didn't really remember what happened, but after that she vowed to find out the other girl's dirtiest, darkest secret._

_When she found out that Ayame was dating a girl, her anger slightly diminished. But Ayame didn't take it lightly._

"_...Since when did you know that?"_

_She played nervously with her new diamante earrings as she watched the snow fall._

_Ritsu knew what they were from her conversation with her band mates. _

_They were presents from Mio, her girlfriend._

"_What's your problem?" Ritsu said, "We're on the same boat since we like girls." _

"_You never change, huh?" Ayame said, clenching her fists, "Ritsu Tainaka, the drummer who refuses to be dictated to by anyone."_

"_A better drummer than you are," Ritsu said with a smirk._

"_Shut it," Ayame snapped._

"_Bring it on, Yoshida," Ritsu said, slamming her fist on the cold handrail, "What can a pussy like you do?"_

_Ritsu almost lost her balance when Ayame suddenly dashed forward and grabbed her by the collar._

"_You remember this..." she said threateningly, "I'm going to beat you in that competition. I'm going to beat you no matter what!"_

"_Oh, so terrifying," Ritsu hissed, "I heard you've been playing badly these days. I'm sure you can beat me with such progress."_

"_You...fucking piece of..."_

_Ritsu slipped away from her grip just before Ayame's knuckles hit her cheek. __S__he glared at Ayame__._

"_That's right, Yoshida. I'm going to win our competition this time. You know what? For me you're always nothing but a sore loser. I can surpass you, I can win this competition, I can be what you want..."_

"_Tainaka...you..." Ayame's face was crimson with anger._

"_Ah, and who knows, maybe I can take your chick, too?"_

_That was the last straw for Ayame._

_Ritsu felt Ayame's hand made contact with her face. They would have surely fallen from the stairs if people nearby didn't hear their brawl and rushed in to stop them._

_At that time, Ritsu felt so satisfied, watching Ayame being dragged by Akira and Sachi while calling Ritsu names all the way down the stairs._

_However, less than two weeks later, she received news that Ayame was hospitalized._

_She had been pushing herself too hard for the competition, and when she was found collapsed on her way to the mart, it was already too late._

_She couldn't move her feet anymore._

_If she didn't die, she would have to spend the rest of her life on a wheelchair._

_It was when Ritsu realized how powerful words really were._

_Her provocation had given Ayame a permanent disability._

_At first, Ritsu dismissed her guilt by assuring herself that it was Ayame's fault for not caring about her own health, but it didn't make her feel much better._

_Then she accidentally found out from Nodoka that Mio Akiyama would be moving to her dorm._

_After thinking about it for several days, Ritsu decided that she ought to visit Ayame at least once._

_Unsurprisingly, she was not welcomed at all._

"_Do you expect me to thank you or worship you?"_

"_Give me a break. If you didn't stop punching me back then, I would be lying down next to you right now with a slipped disc," Ritsu said with a disconcerted tone._

_Ayame gave her a look that Ritsu could only decipher as a mixture of discontentment and disgust. "Are you happy now?" she said angrily, "You really won. Everything."_

_Several uncomfortable seconds passed before Ritsu said, "...I found out that your girlfriend's going to stay in my dorm."_

_Ayame turned to her quickly. "Are you a student of Kyoto University...?" she asked._

"_No, Kyoto Women's University," she said, looking back at her with a cold stare, "Could you explain this to me? I thought your girlfriend is studying in England."_

"_She's an idiot. She wants to move back here so she's closer to me," Ayame sighed. She looked even more sickly than before. "That means your university is her second choice university."_

"_Is her first choice Kyoto University?" Ritsu guessed._

"_Yeah..." she said immediately, "She said she'll find a way to cure my illness no matter what."_

"_Oh," Ritsu said, "Don't tell me she..."_

_They exchanged glances._

"_What do you think?" Ayame said with a shrug, "She wants to be a doctor all of a sudden."_

_Ritsu looked at the infusion bags around her. "...Is your illness incurable?"_

_Ayame stared at the ceiling. "I'll be honest," she said, "This time, I am surely going to die."_

_Ritsu blinked. "Why tell me then?"_

"_That girl will surely think it's her fault," she said, resting her hands over her forehead, "Then she'll have a hard time moving on... because I'm sure she'll keep thinking about me for God knows how long."_

_Ritsu didn't really like the sound of this. "Get to the point, Yoshida."_

"_I've written a letter in case stuff like this happens," she said, reaching for a small piece of paper from her pocket, "Can you give this to her when she comes to your dorm?"_

"_When she comes to my dorm...?" Ritsu asked sharply, "But you..."_

_She stopped abruptly when she looked into Ayame's solemn eyes._

_She knew it would come._

_She knew it better than anyone._

_Ritsu gulped and said, "...Does she know about me?"_

"_Not in the slightest," Ayame said with a small voice, "I have this bad habit of not telling her about these kinds of stuff that I hate, you know?"_

"_If you hate me so much, then why do you trust me to do this?" Ritsu asked._

_Ayame stared at her helplessly. "I don't know..." she replied, "Probably because we have a lot of things in common...?"_

_Ritsu squeezed her eyes closed. "I don't want...If you ever think you resemble me in any way..."_

_However, Ayame had shoved the letter to Ritsu's hands. She opened it unwillingly and read it._

"_...An affair?" Ritsu said._

"_Anything to make that girl forget about me," Ayame said softly, "I don't know if she'll kill herself this time or not, but I don't want that to happen."_

_Ritsu eyed her curiously._

"_If our positions were reversed, Tainaka, I wouldn't come visit you like this," she said, "You might be a better person than I expected."_

"_I take that as an insult," Ritsu mumbled._

"_Can you do one more thing for me?" she asked weakly, "Do you know Megumi Sokabe?"_

_Ritsu flinched._

"_...The girl who two years ago dropped out of my university because of an anti-gay hate crime."_

_Ayame nodded. "Yeah, but she left me her student account, which is still active online," she said, "She told me to try to do something, so I did. I'm a151."_

_Ritsu couldn't believe her ears._

"_There are still a lot of people in your university who need a little push," she said, "The password is her name. Take care of them for me, okay?"_

_Ritsu took a step back from her._

_Ayame __gave her a faint smile__. "Perhaps you can take care of Mio, too," she said._

_Ritsu's eyes widened. "What the fuck are you..."_

"_Take it as my last request?" she said __as her voice died away__._

_She never got to hear Ritsu's reply._

_Several doctors suddenly came and sent her out of the room._

_When she heard how they started shouting for nurses to come and help, she finally realized that those were the last words she would ever hear from Ayame Yoshida._

* * *

><p>"...Then she fell into a coma...and you know what happened next..." Ritsu let out a heavy sigh. "I didn't come to her funeral. I got close with Akira and Sachi after meeting them in a bar a few times after that. Akira obviously never told you, either."<p>

Tears were streaming down Mio's face. "...Why did you...why did you hide..."

"Because I'm a piece of shit, Mio," Ritsu said sadly, "I thought about it for days and days before deciding that I would do what she told me to. I picked up her account, and I handed you the letter. But when I saw you still thinking about her... I realized that I still hate everything about her. That hatred won. I want you to think badly of her. I want you to forget her. Not because of her request to me, but because I just hate how everyone keeps thinking about her...comparing me to her even after she's dead."

Mio felt her head spun as the message truly sank in.

"...It's terrible, isn't it?" Ritsu continued, "After some time, I became attracted to you, but my feelings were still terrible as ever. I became jealous, so jealous of her that I forgot about your feelings. I didn't take care of you like I'm supposed to."

"I'm...it's not entirely your fault..." Mio said, shaking her head.

"That's why I'm going to go," she said, placing her hands on Mio's shoulder, "I'm not going away forever. I just need some time alone. I'll be back when we have both straightened out our feelings."

"But I don't want you to go," Mio cried, "I don't care. I don't know what I feel anymore."

She should be angry.

She should stop meeting Ritsu.

But she didn't want either of those at all.

Ritsu walked closer to her and pulled her into an embrace.

Mio stared at her in shock, but she didn't push her away.

"I won't die like her," Ritsu said, "And I will definitely go back to you."

Ritsu let her go and wiped her tears with her hands.

"So can I say this properly before I go...?" she said, "...I love you, Mio."

Mio stared at those gleaming hazel eyes. Ritsu had always been so careless and indiscreet about everything, but this was the first time Mio realized how much she loved that part about her.

"...You'll be back?"

"How many times do I have to say it?" Ritsu said, ruffling her hair, "When I go back, it's your turn to say it properly."

They gazed at each other and laughed heartily.

At that time, Mio's heart was filled with disbelief of everything that just happened.

However, she knew she had to suspend her disbelief just this once, and appreciate what her life had become.

That chance to start over was finally here at last.

* * *

><p><em>Mio,<em>

_There were so many things in this world that made you doubt that a happy ending even exists at all._

_Sometimes you felt like you never deserved one._

_Or sometimes you felt like you deserved one, but life never did._

_And you just knew that you would die alone, sad, and lonely._

_Yet you stood up, ignored your wounds, and walked forward._

_You knew life would kick you to the ground again, but you still stood up anyway._

_Because you didn't know what exactly lay in the future._

_It could be miserable for all you cared, but you still didn't know._

_There is always a chance to get over the things that you have done._

_There might be someone who ends up needing you more than anyone else._

_There might be something that you can pour yourself into._

_There might be some way to create your own happy ending._

_It could be somewhere out there, or it might already be there in front of you all along._

_One day you would realize that you could find something to die for. _

_I was worried that you would never understand that, but then I saw your beaming face as you threw yourself to Tainaka's arms and said, "Welcome back, Ritsu...I love you."_

_I found myself smiling._

_There is still a long way ahead of you before you can come to this place._

_And__ okay,__ she can have you now, __but __I still know you better._

_When you have a daughter, her name will definitely be Ayame, right?_

_I'm just awesome like that._

* * *

><p>The End.<p>

* * *

><p>AN: With this chapter the story of "Daredevil" came to a close. The story of Mitsu in this AU might continue in a separate sequel, but it's still in the planning stage. Thank you for reading this far everyone, comments and reviews are welcomed!


End file.
